Fa Truth Gine Be Fa Truth

In Barbados you get used to asking people if things are the "truth".

Marriage is one of the things which has always been constant. While in recent years, the word has been sauteed and the texture prepared on a plate to appease the world. However, as beautiful and as tasty as this meal may be, nothing is as satisfying as staying true to the true meaning of what marriage was ordained to be.

In 1 Nephi 11 verses 35 and 36, we hear the story of the great and spacious building. Those who held onto the iron rod became that much closer to salvation while those who marveled at the grand and spacious building were left in a state of stagnation and were unable to receive salvation.

We can look at this from a marriage perspective. Marriage, as ordained from Heavenly Father, is truly defined between a man and a woman. Those in grand spacious buildings believe otherwise. Those who seek to receive that meal meant to appease the world remain in a constant loop circling the building marveling at its beauty while those who hold fast to the eternal truths and follow the doctrines of the gospel obey and hold fast to the iron rod.

As stated in the Proclamation, marriage allows us to take part in Heavenly Father's eternal plan.

Although I am single as a pringle over here in the "good-ole isles of the sea", I testify of these things. I know that marriage allows us to fulfill the work which Heavenly Father prepared for us long before this mortal existence.



 

Cross My Heart And Hope To Keep My Promises

Marriage is a learned behavior. Our conscious effort, not instinct, determines the success

-Howard W. Hunter

As a child, I often repeated a lot of promises.

I promised to be a good girl...
I promised to stay in the book aisle until my grandmother shopped at the supermarket...
I promised to respect my elders...
I promised to be honest...

As I grew I broke every single one of these promises at one time or the other. I joined my cousin in leaving the supermarket when my grandmother promised to return. I told white lies to avoid punishment. I rolled my eyes at my teachers when I thought they were being mean and inconsiderate.

But when it comes to marriage, while we may promise loyalty, fidelity and to love and honor our spouse, the simple fact remains that marriage is so much more sacred than a mere promise.

It's something sacred. It's a covenant or a contract that is ordained from our Heavenly Father. Therefore, the union of marriage shouldn't be entered into lightly.

As the photo states, we should never aspire to break someone's heart, trust or the promises you make towards that individual. And if you break all three, as they say over here in the Caribbean "Woe Betide" you are tough out of luck and eternally screwed.

Marriage should be considered carefully. Marriage should be treated with respect. Marriage should not be attempted to be entered into lightly by somersaulting to the nearest temple.

Afterall...

MARRIAGE IS NOT LIKE A HALLMARK MOVIE!!!

While the fantasy of romantic movies remains, marriage is far more serious than a flighty love trope. It requires effort and hard work. It demands time, patience and the combined effort to repair the damage to its foundation when the storms of life arise.

Marriage is far beyond promises. It goes way beyond our mortal existence. As I watch my friends go from returned missionaries to husbands and wives,  I often remind myself that marriage is much more than the somersaults towards the temple and can only truly defined in its simplest form as the purest gift and blessing Heavenly Father gifts his children during our mortal existence.

But First Equality

“The responsibilities and divine gifts of men and women differ in their nature but not in their importance or influence.”

-Elder M. Russell Ballard

In the popular reggae cover "No Man Is An Island" by John Holt the singer quotes

No man is an island 

No man stands alone

Each man has a brother 

 Each man treat as his own

When it comes to marriage, equality is one of the topics which always springs to mind. 

Is a wife equal to her husband?

Is a husband a dictator of his wife?

In the last few weeks, the notion of the alpha male husband has been squashed by our readings. One such example came from the article Crossing Thresholds and Becoming Equal Partners by Bruce C Haffen and Marie K. Haffen. Clearing up the age-old misconception, the Haffens note that the bible example of Adam being instructed to rule over Eve does not make him the dictator which modern-day patriarchs wrongly believe.

Eve's role as a help meet signifies her equaled worth in comparison to Adam. She is neither his servant or subordinate as the Haffens describe. However, due to Eve's transgression (which is noted as the first act of disobedience in the Bible) many have come to the belief in our modern-day that Eve was simply Adam's to "rule and dominate".
As a young single adult in the dating game, I often hear how men were made to rule over their homes. This is far from the 

How can equality thrive between husband and wife in the home?

We've often heard the old adage that "if a man is the head... then the woman is the neck" or in a more musical note the lyrics from James Brown's "This Is A Man's World" which state:

This is a man's world
This is a man's world
But it wouldn't be nothing
Nothing without a woman or a girl

 

True equality in a marriage occurs when husband and wife see each other as truly equal towards each other and in the eyes of their Heavenly Father. This means that men who hold the priesthood see the importance of their wives to support them in this Heavenly ordained calling. Having this equal partnership allows husband and wife to find common ground to steer their families towards raising their families with the foundation of Christ.

Brick By Brick: Building A Strong Foundation of Faith in the Home

 

“Life is better and much happier as hearts turn toward family and as families live the light of the gospel of Christ.”

-Elder M. Russell Ballard

In the Caribbean, attending church is not a negotiation. From a young age, I remember being carted off to church numerous times during the week by my grandmother. There were days where we attended three services a day, but looking back at them now, they still remain some of my fondest memories.
The first source of gospel teaching in many Caribbean homes is about Jesus Christ. We come to know of his love and sacrifice for our sins. We often are made to say our nightly prayers with overlooking parents and grandparents who make sure that both the pronunciation and the intention of our prayers are sincere and reverent.



Although I was raised with a strong sense of spirituality and most times had a love of Christ which could move mountains, there were many times growing up when my relationship with the man upstairs was on the verge of an epic breakup.

Throughout this period of Rumspringa (rebellion), I was always grateful that I had knowledge of the Creator and the atonement of Jesus Christ. These things had been taught to me and while they never wavered, it was this hard period that led the missionaries to my home where I accepted the gospel.

Core beliefs such as paying an honest tithing, attending church more regularly than twice a year, the importance of having a nearness and close relationship with God were things that have continued through my conversion.

When the home becomes a place of both learning and reconnecting with our Heavenly Father, we are able to see how the seeds of faith blossom into great blessings for our families. We are able to see how we are to fortify our homes from the adversary and protect them from the evils of our mortal world.

Despite sore feet and hands were swollen from loud tambourine playing as a child, I am grateful for the experiences which I have learned by growing up in a family where the basis and strong foundation was deeply rooted on Jesus Christ and my Heavenly Father.

The Eternal Family: Beyond the Mortal Existence

“What matters most is what lasts longest, and our families are for eternity.”

-M. Russell Ballard

My favorite hymn since becoming a member of the church still and will always be "Families Can Be Together Forever". 

Families can be together forever

Through Heavenly Father's plan

I always want to be with my own family 

And the Lord has shown me how I can

The Lord has shown me how I can. 

The chorus of this hymn always brings a smile to my face. Each time it is sung at my small branch, I often get emotional when thinking about my own family. I come from a somewhat small family. Both my mother and I were only children. Often my playmates were books and stuffed animals when my parents worked long hours. 

Me and my grandmum a few years before she passed away.

Eventually, when my grandmother took over my care as a young child, I was able to feel the warmth that only the love of a family member can bring.

But what is a family?

In the first paragraph of The Family: A Proclamation to the World, the true definition of a family is described as a union ordained by God between a man and woman and explains that the family is central to Heavenly Father's eternal destiny for his children.  As Latter-day Saints, we believe that the sacred union of marriage and families exist past our mortal lives.  

Elder Merrill J.Bated stated that "the creation of the Earth, the fall of Adam, and the atonement of Christ are essential elements to the pillars in the Father's plan for the progression and development of his children- both as individuals and as families... These three doctrinal pillars of the plan of salvation  are intimately involved in the creation of new eternal families and their extension into the eternities"

If marriage and eternal families are a part of Heavenly Father's plan for his children why are the concepts of marriage and family entered so casually?

While watching some of the couples in my small island branch, I've come to see those relationships planted on strong foundations always seem to endure through the stormiest of trials. Often, it doesn't mean that both individuals are perfect or that they've never had impossible "mountains" to endure. 
However, due to their union being rooted in the foundation of the gospel and sharing these eternal truths with their children, these families are better able to weather the storms which come upon them. 

In this present day where a few of my own friends have broken relationships and ugly divorces and have even sworn off marriage and family for entirely selfish reasons, I always bring myself back to the truth of why eternal families exist.

Eternal families are a blessing to us during our time on earth. They provide the basis to spread the gospel and provide the core principles to our children (future children for me) to return to our Heavenly Father's presence one day.

Photos of my hanai family (adopted family members):

My hanai family in Idaho. Hanai means adopted. The mom of one of the missionaries who first taught me "adopted" me into their family when I visited Idaho last year.

I don't have sisters but my friends Anna and Lina are pretty close to biological sisters. Whenever we get together it's a crazy time.

My Barbados Bridgetown Mission girls at October General Conference last year.

Months after dreaming of this trip forever, I finally made it to Idaho to meet my "hanai family". And they brought a bag of Idaho potatoes since I always took pictures of them in the supermarket.

About Me

Who Am I?

My name is Ramona Morris and I am from the small Caribbean island of Barbados.

Thats me in the pink with my mom and my church brother Kelvin during ur last temple prep class before heading to the temple in the Dominican Republic last year

My family consists of my dad Leonard, mother Paula and our four dogs Muffin, Bootsie, Baby Boy and Runtie.

I first learned about the church almost four years ago when missionaries "shouted" my house for the first time. In the Caribbean, that's what we refer to when missionaries inquire whether someone is at home and if they are interested in taking lessons. Usually, their answer is no but I said yes.

Accepting the gospel changed my life. I got to meet my amazing missionaries who became friends along the way.

I was introduced to the gospel and baptized almost three years ago. In the years since I have had amazing opportunities to travel the world and discover myself through the gospel. I've visited ten temples, attended General Conferences, written and featured in articles for LDSLiving and YAWeekly, gone on Date-box dates in YSA wards in Provo, screaming my head off during BYU football games and truly immersing myself in living the best covenant life I can.

For the next few weeks, I will be sharing insights on YSA Dating and the journey from swiping on dating apps to sprinting off to the temple "for time and all eternity"

Bonus photos:

My first time at the temple in the Dominican Republic.

A mini mission reunion with all the missionaries who taught me the gospel during General Conference October 2018

Seeking Eternity: Marrying Potential

The Broadwaters are one of the couples serving as senior missionaries in the Barbados Bridgetown Mission. It is almost impossible to not feel how much they love each other.

Before we can run off towards to the temple with our "one and only" maybe it's time to figure out if we're dating the one we want to spent all our time and eternity with. In the world of social media apps and swiping frantically on Mutual or checking our LDS Pals profiles, does one ever stop to think about how important choosing an eternal partner is?

In the span of a year, the missionaries who first taught me the gospel have all gotten married. Some of them dated their future husbands and wives before leaving  on their missions while others returned with honor and magically fell in love at the drop of a hat.

As a convert to both the gospel and the Latter-Day Saint dating scene, it's often hard to picture  how one goes from asking someone on a date one day to announcing an engagement the next. I often ask myself the following questions as I filter through the endless feed of post-mission engagements while drowning my sorrows at the bottom of an ice-cream container.

• How can one tell they've found the person they wish to spend time and all eternity with?
• How soon is too soon to fall in love before getting married?

Sometimes true love means your wife bleaches your hair. Jeremy moved to Barbados for medical school with his wife Katie and his son. Sometimes eternal doesn't mean being stuck in the same zipcode for the duration of your marriage.

As I reflect on these questions, I have come to  love President Gordon B. Hinkley's quote which said the most important decision you make is about the individual you marry.

In the last few months as I watch the loving relationships in my small branch in the Caribbean my perspective of love, dating and marriage has drastically changed. Somewhere along the line, I started asking myself if there was a magical formula and timeline for love.

As much as I hated to admit it, there just isn't one. 

Last September, I had the opportunity to throw myself headfirst into the dating pool of Utah Young Single Adult wards when I visited the missionaries who taught me the gospel almost three years ago. 

Soon after coming home, one of my friends began dating a boy. As her first boyfriend, I warned her to be careful. Although I wasn't his biggest fan, I watched as she suddenly changed from my "satisfied single" friend to "a girl in very strong like" in the space of a few short weeks. 

Being older, I allowed her to flesh out her complex feelings. However, a few weeks into my trip I got the shock of my life when she admitted that she was going to break up with him. Until then she had been so certain. What had gone wrong?

Now I won't admit that I wasn't screaming for joy that the relationship ended. Multiple warning signs just couldn't be ingnored anymore. In my heart, I could tell that happiness didn't fill her heart. In my quiet observation, I realized that sometimes you just end up knowing whose worth persuing for a season (normally to get used to dating awkwardness after serving a mission) and those who have eternal potential. In my friend's heart, she knew she didn't see eternity with this man and ended it before things got more serious.
A few months after the breakup, my friend met her husband. They were married and sealed in the Meridian, Idaho Temple.

This entire experience reminds me  of the phases described in Chapter 2 which states:

"The issue for single Latter-day Saints is how to enter into Phase A and move progressively into Phase B and then into Phase C, with the endpoint being a temple marriage that will grow into an eternal and celestial marriage. Once in a relationship, another issue may arise when one becomes aware that a pre-maritial relationship is not progressing or should not progress (Phase D). One should then figure out how to move  into Phase E, while doing as little damage as possible"

Although heartbreak isn't the most appreciated feeling, realizing how to navigate through Phase D ensure that "time and all eternity" does not become "time and all misery".

Elder Broadwater: How should we pose Ramona?

Something funny is always good right?

Love...Shmove: Why Is Marriage Important Anyways?

We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

Whether six or fifty-six, as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, marriage is one the minds of  one and all.

 The Webster Dictionary defines marriage as the state of being united as spouses in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law. From a spiritual perspective however, marriage is described as a union between a husband and a wife that has been ordained of God

Marriage is more than changing last names, a slip of paper or even new sleeping arrangements. In it's simplest and purest forms, mariage is one of the most sacred covenants which we can enter into during our time on Earth.

After watching a wedding party celebrating outside of the Santo Domingo Temple in the Dominican Republic last year, I often wondered if these toddlers would grow up to aspire to be married in the temple one day.

 

In today's society where the definition of marriage has been skewed, misinterpreted, twisted and conformed to suit the needs and desires of a world far separated from the teachings of Christ. Same-sex marriages, adultery, and promiscuous behavior have eroded the fibers of marriage as the world fails to treat it as the sacred institution which it was intended to be.

So why should we get married?

The answer is simple. We should get married because it is a commandment from our Heavenly Father.

Unless we are the world's greatest lone-wolf, no one really wants to be alone.Heavenly Father's plan didn't involve a solitary life for his children. In fact, after the creation of Adam God created Eve to be his "helpmeet" and companion in life. Although their decision to eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil meant that they had to leave the Garden of Eden, their companionship allowed them to depend on each other during one of the biggest trials in their life.

Don't get me wrong. Heavenly Father isn't up in his kingdom of glory punishing those who don't get married during our mortal existence. Instead, he has instructed us to follow this commandment in our mortal lives. By doing so, the plan of happiness which he prepared can be fully accomplished during our time on Earth. Heavenly Father knew that a marriage between husband and wife would not only serve to enrich and bring joy to our time on Earth. Through the institution of marriage, we are able to be blessed with an eternal family where the teachings of Christ.


I know that Heavenly Father wants us to be happy. I know that as I make the changes to my own life that I will find an eternal partner. I know that as we embark on our own journeys to find our "person" Heavenly Father will bless us in the time he sees fit.

Often when I visit the temple, I wonder if marriage is on the cards for me. Then I realize in the grand spectrum of things that my timing doesn't compare to the timing that Heavenly Father has for my life. Until then, I plan on working on making myself the best self so that one day I may be blessed with an eternal companion.