Seeking Eternity: Marrying Potential

The Broadwaters are one of the couples serving as senior missionaries in the Barbados Bridgetown Mission. It is almost impossible to not feel how much they love each other.

Before we can run off towards to the temple with our "one and only" maybe it's time to figure out if we're dating the one we want to spent all our time and eternity with. In the world of social media apps and swiping frantically on Mutual or checking our LDS Pals profiles, does one ever stop to think about how important choosing an eternal partner is?

In the span of a year, the missionaries who first taught me the gospel have all gotten married. Some of them dated their future husbands and wives before leaving  on their missions while others returned with honor and magically fell in love at the drop of a hat.

As a convert to both the gospel and the Latter-Day Saint dating scene, it's often hard to picture  how one goes from asking someone on a date one day to announcing an engagement the next. I often ask myself the following questions as I filter through the endless feed of post-mission engagements while drowning my sorrows at the bottom of an ice-cream container.

• How can one tell they've found the person they wish to spend time and all eternity with?
• How soon is too soon to fall in love before getting married?

Sometimes true love means your wife bleaches your hair. Jeremy moved to Barbados for medical school with his wife Katie and his son. Sometimes eternal doesn't mean being stuck in the same zipcode for the duration of your marriage.

As I reflect on these questions, I have come to  love President Gordon B. Hinkley's quote which said the most important decision you make is about the individual you marry.

In the last few months as I watch the loving relationships in my small branch in the Caribbean my perspective of love, dating and marriage has drastically changed. Somewhere along the line, I started asking myself if there was a magical formula and timeline for love.

As much as I hated to admit it, there just isn't one. 

Last September, I had the opportunity to throw myself headfirst into the dating pool of Utah Young Single Adult wards when I visited the missionaries who taught me the gospel almost three years ago. 

Soon after coming home, one of my friends began dating a boy. As her first boyfriend, I warned her to be careful. Although I wasn't his biggest fan, I watched as she suddenly changed from my "satisfied single" friend to "a girl in very strong like" in the space of a few short weeks. 

Being older, I allowed her to flesh out her complex feelings. However, a few weeks into my trip I got the shock of my life when she admitted that she was going to break up with him. Until then she had been so certain. What had gone wrong?

Now I won't admit that I wasn't screaming for joy that the relationship ended. Multiple warning signs just couldn't be ingnored anymore. In my heart, I could tell that happiness didn't fill her heart. In my quiet observation, I realized that sometimes you just end up knowing whose worth persuing for a season (normally to get used to dating awkwardness after serving a mission) and those who have eternal potential. In my friend's heart, she knew she didn't see eternity with this man and ended it before things got more serious.
A few months after the breakup, my friend met her husband. They were married and sealed in the Meridian, Idaho Temple.

This entire experience reminds me  of the phases described in Chapter 2 which states:

"The issue for single Latter-day Saints is how to enter into Phase A and move progressively into Phase B and then into Phase C, with the endpoint being a temple marriage that will grow into an eternal and celestial marriage. Once in a relationship, another issue may arise when one becomes aware that a pre-maritial relationship is not progressing or should not progress (Phase D). One should then figure out how to move  into Phase E, while doing as little damage as possible"

Although heartbreak isn't the most appreciated feeling, realizing how to navigate through Phase D ensure that "time and all eternity" does not become "time and all misery".

Elder Broadwater: How should we pose Ramona?

Something funny is always good right?

Love...Shmove: Why Is Marriage Important Anyways?

We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

Whether six or fifty-six, as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, marriage is one the minds of  one and all.

 The Webster Dictionary defines marriage as the state of being united as spouses in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law. From a spiritual perspective however, marriage is described as a union between a husband and a wife that has been ordained of God

Marriage is more than changing last names, a slip of paper or even new sleeping arrangements. In it's simplest and purest forms, mariage is one of the most sacred covenants which we can enter into during our time on Earth.

After watching a wedding party celebrating outside of the Santo Domingo Temple in the Dominican Republic last year, I often wondered if these toddlers would grow up to aspire to be married in the temple one day.

 

In today's society where the definition of marriage has been skewed, misinterpreted, twisted and conformed to suit the needs and desires of a world far separated from the teachings of Christ. Same-sex marriages, adultery, and promiscuous behavior have eroded the fibers of marriage as the world fails to treat it as the sacred institution which it was intended to be.

So why should we get married?

The answer is simple. We should get married because it is a commandment from our Heavenly Father.

Unless we are the world's greatest lone-wolf, no one really wants to be alone.Heavenly Father's plan didn't involve a solitary life for his children. In fact, after the creation of Adam God created Eve to be his "helpmeet" and companion in life. Although their decision to eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil meant that they had to leave the Garden of Eden, their companionship allowed them to depend on each other during one of the biggest trials in their life.

Don't get me wrong. Heavenly Father isn't up in his kingdom of glory punishing those who don't get married during our mortal existence. Instead, he has instructed us to follow this commandment in our mortal lives. By doing so, the plan of happiness which he prepared can be fully accomplished during our time on Earth. Heavenly Father knew that a marriage between husband and wife would not only serve to enrich and bring joy to our time on Earth. Through the institution of marriage, we are able to be blessed with an eternal family where the teachings of Christ.


I know that Heavenly Father wants us to be happy. I know that as I make the changes to my own life that I will find an eternal partner. I know that as we embark on our own journeys to find our "person" Heavenly Father will bless us in the time he sees fit.

Often when I visit the temple, I wonder if marriage is on the cards for me. Then I realize in the grand spectrum of things that my timing doesn't compare to the timing that Heavenly Father has for my life. Until then, I plan on working on making myself the best self so that one day I may be blessed with an eternal companion.